I am not getting any younger. And I am certainly not getting any healthier. I am not taking care of myself physically, financially, emotionally, or relationally. I am 35 years old, more than 100 pounds overweight, in debt, often depressed, out of shape, and lacking in the social community that I desire.
Overall I am a happy person. But there are many things that I would like to change, and most of them all stem from things that I can control. Is fibro a daily struggle? Yes. However, I still feel that I could be doing more to manage it. Can I control how much money we make or our bills? Not really. But I can make wiser choices with what I can control (yesterday’s sermon was on tithing once again – I sure wish I would get convicted about that one).
Today is the day. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not after the holidays. TODAY.
I am going to make a concerted effort to actually eat the way I want to. Not the way that I have time for or the way that I have motivation for. But the way I want to. I love vegetables. I love to cook. I let my life, schedule, and lack of motivation get in the way and end up eating nachos. That has to stop. If I just actually eat the foods I know I should (and like), then I will be healthier (not necessarily skinnier).
I am going to actually document how much water I drink. I know the amount varies a ton day to day. I know that some days I drink 3 glasses, others a gallon. I need to track this to know what I am actually doing.
I need to actually go to the gym. Not to swim with Adrianna, but to work out. Even if that just means walking on the treadmill for 10 minutes. It is better than sitting at home. I need to make this a priority, even when I don’t want to go!
I need to figure out what my hidden triggers are and get control over them. Somehow in the past 2 months I have managed to gain back most of the 15 pounds I lost this year – and I have no idea why. Of course I am not eating right or exercising. That hasn’t changed. But the weight is back and I feel awful. I need to make this a priority.
I need to remember that personal care is ok! It is ok to wax my eyebrows and paint my toenails. It is ok to read a book or ask a friend to hang out on a Tuesday night. I need to leave the kids home with Lonny and allow them to manage without me! Lonny and I need to plan date nights. Hopefully over time I will feel better and I will start to write again. I miss that part of me.