Tomorrow is November 1st – 2016 is nearly over. I am 35 years old. My son is a freshman. My baby girl is in middle school. Lonny and I have been together for more than 19 years. I have been at the same job for 4 years. We have lived in our 3 year house for over 11 years. How did this happen? I am reminded of the old country song “Time Marches On,” it just keeps going. The days are long but the years are short.
My life is messy. Crazy busy. Just plain crazy sometimes. I like my job but don’t see myself doing it forever. But I don’t know what else I would do. I miss reading. I miss history. I miss writing. I am out of practice! I miss community but we have great friends. I can’t wait for the kids to grow up and yet I miss when they are small.
I am going to resume writing on this blog. Not because I want anyone to actually read it (how terrifying a thought). But because it will give me an outlet to get creative juices flowing. It will give me a place to process. It will mark the passage of time like an old fashioned paper journal (which I haven’t been good at writing in lately either).
I recently did the “Armor of God” bible study by Priscilla Shirer. It was a good study (as all of hers are) and a specific part has stuck out to me. On page 34 she writes that “We need to craft a blueprint for our success.” I need to have a strategy. Of course she was referring specifically to our battle with the enemy. But I feel that this should apply holistically to my life.
When was the last time I had a plan? A real, documented on paper, plan. Realistic goals that I work towards. I occasionally journal about goals or dreams. I write practical “to be done” lists, focusing on replacing the roof, paying off debt, or painting a room. But I can’t remember the last time I had a life plan. I am naturally a type A personality. Life, laziness, who knows what has led me to resemble more of a type B. This is not in itself a bad thing, however, I feel that I have lost the motivation and organization I used to have. I want it back!
The last time I started to dream about a long term plan, Lonny took a promotion that left us with an appreciable reduction in income. That was the margin that allowed for financial plans. But why did I let that derail me from other plans? I have plenty of reasons that I can list, but they really end up being excuses. If I was motivated then the money (or lack thereof) wouldn’t have gotten in the way. I need to start to dream and then make realistic plans for our future.